Let’s dive right in and meet the characters:
Dorothy comes home to the Golden House, complaining about the kids she substitute teaches (one of her defining characteristics) to some guy who’s making enchiladas for the Golden Girls:Rose enters, complaining about how all the people who visit/call the Grief Counseling Center where she works are depressing to deal with.
Next, Blanche (who’s headed out on a date) enters:Blanche grabs some cucumbers from the fridge to reduce swelling around her eyes and Rose asks if they help with your thighs and Blanche says she wouldn’t know, her thighs are perfect. Burn!
Anyway, Blanche leaves & Dorothy laments about how old & wrinkled she herself feels/is, until Blanche comes back in, talking about all the sex she’s gonna have during & after her date.
The she lets slip that her date (Harry), proposed to her:Blanche tries to leave for her date/engagement but the other Golden Girls are all, “HELL-TO-THE-NO!” and chase her into the living room to get the 411.
Blanche tells them she has some thinking to do about the proposal and Rose (astutely) wonders what will happen to the rest of the Golden Girls if Blanche gets married because Blanche owns the house they all live in.
Rose says they have no money or collateral to get a home loan, only a gay cook.
SIDE NOTE: Now we know who the guy making enchiladas in the kitchen is.
Sophia arrives for the 1st time at the Golden House.
The rest home she lived in (Shady Pines) burned down and I’m not sure if it’s addressed, but I’m pretty sure she burned the place down herself because she hated it there (one of her defining characteristics).
When Sophia meets Blanche for the 1st time, she says, and I quote:SIDE NOTE 2: When Sophia goes to get some food in the kitchen – and refers to their gay cook (who’s making enchiladas) as fancy and a petunia – Blanche mentions how Sophia had a stroke a while back and it destroyed her ability to sensor herself before she speaks. Sophia re-enters complaining about all the ethnicity in Miami.
Man, I never knew there was a medical reason for how awesome Sophia is!
Harry shows up and he & Blanche leave while Dorothy and Rose worry about having to move out of the Golden House.
Sophia makes a crack about how she hopes Harry took Blanche someplace cold, so her make-up won’t melt off.
We fade to the back area of the Golden House where the gay cook is still hanging around, pouring wine, while Rose talks about how Blanche made a date with a guy at her own husband’s funeral, cuz being a nympho is one of Blanche’s defining characteristics.
Rose reminisces about her dead husband Charlie and Blanche finally returns home from her date.
The other Golden Girls want to know if Blanche accepted Harry’s proposal:Discussions of logic, reason, feelings & love give way to an argument about whether or not oysters move on their own and Blanche says she’s getting hitched next week.
After my pee break, we’re back and Blanche tells the girls to start packing, which leads Dorothy to recall another failure of hers: her 1st marriage to Stan (which is another thing she complains about throughout the series and a 2nd defining characteristic).
The Golden Girls then sit around & complain about being old; having to get up to pee 10 times a night, etc.
Sophia says she doesn’t have that problem: she pees once a day at 7am…but doesn’t wake ’til around 8am. Ha!
There’s another shot of the exterior of the Golden House and then we’re in Blanche’s room, 12 minutes from the wedding.
Rose enters, telling Dorothy that she has a bad feeling about Harry and that her feelings are always right.
We almost got a “Back in St. Olaf” story, but Dorothy cut her off:Blanche comes out of the bathroom and it’s time for the wedding, but Harry doesn’t show up.
But the gay, black guy from Designing Women does (as a cop):Officer Fabulous informs Blanche that groom’s been arrested for bigamy and he’s also nice enough to bring her a note for Blanche from Harry.
The letter basically says that he loves her and he’s sorry he’s from Utah.
The exterior of the Golden House makes another appearance (which is probably why the producers get rid of Coco; no need for 2 inanimate objects hanging around).
Finally, we fade to the back area of the Golden House again.
The Golden Girls are lounging in chairs and Dorothy makes a bunch of racially-charged, stereotypical observations about how different cultures deal with grief and mentions that Blanche hasn’t been to her job at the museum in several days.
SIDE NOTE 3: Before having watched the show again, I just kind of assumed Blanche was a sugarbaby.
Sophia tells everybody to shut the hell up and Blanche suddenly feels better, cuz we’re out of time.
St. Loaf Stories: 1/2
# of Men Blanche referenced sex/had sex with: 2
Picture It Stories from Sophia: 0
Number of times Dorothy complained about teaching & her ex: 4
Unanswered Question: Where’s My Enchilada?